Sadly I am having to take a step I was hoping not to have to take with my ex in-laws and my daughters father, but life is never easy is it?
There’s a post around here somewhere I believe that discusses why I left my ex husband and moved and all that happy stuff back in 2008. I’d direct you to it, but *smiles* I don’t even remember what I called it or what category I stuck it in, great eh? That just goes a long way to showing how much I put a great deal of that in my past and let it go when I said I would.
Well, every year just about I went to Alberta to spend a week with my daughter and I speak to her a lot on the phone. Up until last year my daughter never said she wanted to come and actually spend time with me where I live in Ottawa so all was good. Last year she brought it up during my visit, but then dropped it after I left. No big deal there either, still too young and in my opinion I figured when she was really ready it would become quite clear.
Guess what, that time came. after my visit this year in February my daughter brought up wanting to come to my house for a visit. This time it was just not one mention, but through out my whole visit and just about every time we speak she brings it up. This is also not a request she has let known to me. she has also told her grandparents and her dad of her wishes.
I decided that I would also make my request known to the grandparents and her dad in writing and let them know of my daughters wishes and get their thoughts. well. Good thing I did, because I got their refusal to grant the request in writing which has come back to bite them in the ass.
On November 1, 2013 my request to re-open the terms regarding visitations and my daughter were accepted by legal-aide. This was not a step I wanted to take ever. I did not want my daughter to see that now there will be a fight between her grandparents, her dad and myself over something that should have been a simple matter.
This is what I was asking for:
All my daughter knows, friends, school and all is in Alberta and I’m not looking to change that right now. Since my daughter is asking on a constant basis now and she is old enough is for her to come to Ottawa and spend one week with me over the summer, (next summer) not this summer. This gives me lots of time to save up money for traveling back and forth to pick her up, make sure the room is ready for her, me to get use to the area we now live in since we had just moved into this neighbourhood and the biggest thing give my daughter time together not having to depend on “grandma” to drive us around. It would be mother and daughter bonding time a lot different than what we can do when I have to go to Alberta.
Well guess what, the grandparents and her dad don’t like that so much,they refused. They believe it’s still best for my daughter that I go there. I am always welcome there of course no matter that I’m not comfortable. Doesn’t matter that I can’t just get up and take my daughter some place. No no, what’s best for her is that we ignore her everyday request and keep dad and grandparents happy.
My daughter would love to move back with me, she has made that clear to me as well, but I’m keeping it real for now and have explained to her that maybe we should start off small because living with me is a lot different than seeing me once a year. It will also be very different being with me and no grandparents in the way. One step at a time and a week is all I pushed for and legal-aide agrees with my request. So, as much as I hate this, here goes the battle!
Wish me luck!